Sunday, November 15, 2009
Veterans Day - 2009
I had a very different veterans day this year. I spend the weekend before at the 18th Annual James Jones Symposium "Memories of War" held at Eastern Illinois University. Then Monday I spoke at my Rotary club about my experiences in Vietnam. On Veterans day, there were many veteran activities going on in town in all the veterans post. I bought a dozen yellow roses for my wife and spent a relaxing day with her. It was a good day.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
18th Annual James Jones Symposium
"Memories of War" was the focus of the 18th Annual James Jones Symposium held at Eastern Illinois University, November 6-7, 2009 in conjunction with National Book Award recipient Tim O'Brien presenting the third annual James Jones Lecture in the Black Box Theater of the Doudna Fine Arts Center. Kaylie Jones (James Jones daughter) did a reading from her recently published memoir, Lies My Mother Never Told, and talked about "War in the Home", growing up in the shadow of her father, his experiences in combat and his knowledge of war. I discussed my memories of a year in the bush during the Vietnam War when I was a corpsman serving with the Third Marine Recon, being wounded and coming home. Which was the basis for my Novel Lost Survivor.
The symposium concluded with a student panel entitled "World War II Memories in Japan and Beyond" organized by Eastern Illinois University history professor Jinhee Lee which provided an opportunity for students to participate in the activities.
The speaker's presentations evoked emotions from many of those who attended as they remembered their loved ones struggles with memories of war. There were some Vietnam Veterans that attended, one came up to me, shook my hand and told me, "welcome home." A simple moment of touching and quiet recognition of shared experiences. Another Vietnam veteran told me of the anxiety in his mind and body he experienced, while I was speaking, as his war memories flashed in his head. He had received a copy of lost survivor from a family member and had driven over three hours to hear me speak. He said it was worth the drive.
Though I have been a member of the James Jones Literary Society's board for a year this was the first time I met with the full Board of Directors. They are intense, dedicated individuals to giving generations of students insight into the work of James Jones and knowledge of the effects of war. I am proud to be joining them in this quest and the collaborative effort with the College of Arts and Humanities, and the Departments of English and History at Eastern Illinois University in the establishment of a James Jones Chair in World War II Studies in English and History.
The 2011 symposium will be a major one as it will mark the 90th year since the birth of James Jones, the 70th year since the bombing of Pear Harbor and the 20th year since the founding of the James Jones Literary Society. The board will be working to hold the 2011 symposium in cooperation with the Norman Mailer Literary Society in Austin Texas, at the Harry Ransom Center which is home to both James Jones and Norman Mailer archives.
The experience of sharing time with the folks at the event and the Board produced a boost of energy for my writing soul.
The symposium concluded with a student panel entitled "World War II Memories in Japan and Beyond" organized by Eastern Illinois University history professor Jinhee Lee which provided an opportunity for students to participate in the activities.
The speaker's presentations evoked emotions from many of those who attended as they remembered their loved ones struggles with memories of war. There were some Vietnam Veterans that attended, one came up to me, shook my hand and told me, "welcome home." A simple moment of touching and quiet recognition of shared experiences. Another Vietnam veteran told me of the anxiety in his mind and body he experienced, while I was speaking, as his war memories flashed in his head. He had received a copy of lost survivor from a family member and had driven over three hours to hear me speak. He said it was worth the drive.
Though I have been a member of the James Jones Literary Society's board for a year this was the first time I met with the full Board of Directors. They are intense, dedicated individuals to giving generations of students insight into the work of James Jones and knowledge of the effects of war. I am proud to be joining them in this quest and the collaborative effort with the College of Arts and Humanities, and the Departments of English and History at Eastern Illinois University in the establishment of a James Jones Chair in World War II Studies in English and History.
The 2011 symposium will be a major one as it will mark the 90th year since the birth of James Jones, the 70th year since the bombing of Pear Harbor and the 20th year since the founding of the James Jones Literary Society. The board will be working to hold the 2011 symposium in cooperation with the Norman Mailer Literary Society in Austin Texas, at the Harry Ransom Center which is home to both James Jones and Norman Mailer archives.
The experience of sharing time with the folks at the event and the Board produced a boost of energy for my writing soul.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Fierce Combat Makes You Crazy!
I was reading the newspaper and came across article Army: Soldiers in slayings exposed to fierce combat. It described a report from an Army task force of medical expert who looked at members of Fort Carson's 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, known as the Iron Eagles. Soldiers in the unit were accused in five killings in separate attacks around Colorado Springs and involved in six more slayings in Colorado. The report compared the unit with a similarly sized unit and found it suffered more combat deaths in Iraq and was deployed there longer. "This investigation suggests a possible association between increasing levels of combat exposure and risk for negative behavioral outcome." The study said. It added that the soldiers faced "significant disruptions in family-social support." The soldiers accused of the killings had committed crimes before and abused drugs and alcohol.
Men returning in previous wars have shown us that combat makes you crazy. It is a premise of my book "Lost Survivor" (www.lostsurvivor.com). What you lose to survive, is what you need to live. Combat creates dark places in a man's soul that he runs from and hides in. To be in combat means to be crazy or dead. Men are discouraged from seeking mental help and belittled if they do. Which is why so many families lose love ones even though they survived the horrible experiences of combat.
Men returning in previous wars have shown us that combat makes you crazy. It is a premise of my book "Lost Survivor" (www.lostsurvivor.com). What you lose to survive, is what you need to live. Combat creates dark places in a man's soul that he runs from and hides in. To be in combat means to be crazy or dead. Men are discouraged from seeking mental help and belittled if they do. Which is why so many families lose love ones even though they survived the horrible experiences of combat.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Congressional Black Caucus Veteran BrainTrust Award
I am back to writing the blog. Between the demands of a 8 - 5 job and writing an adaption of "Lost Survivor" for the stage, the other daily grinds of living, and life sharing with my wife I felt like I was leaf on choppy seas. Nothing bad, mostly good happenings. My mind stretched in many different directions until the connections seems more important than the core. So, the process of rediscovery starts again, usually because of memories. And that is what happen to me.
I was presented the 2008 Illinois Veterans Braintrust Award. It was a small ceremony held in Illinois Secretary of State, Jesse White's Chicago office, my boss, added a special texture to the event, because he is the only statewide elected official that is a veteran. The award, established by General Colin Powell in 1990, pays tribute to mine efforts on behalf of WWII, Korean, Vietnam, Gulf, Iraq and Afghanistan War Veterans, their families and supporters, and for my novel "Lost Survivor". The social paradoxes encountered on the journey from man to soldier and soldier back to man. It was a honor to receive the award
It brought a flood of memories filled with faces and names of the veterans I had contact with since I returned from Vietnam. Listening to their stories of survival and what it did to them. Experiencing with them the pain of reliving the nightmares of combat. Which drove me to write "Lost Survivor" so people could understand the screams we hear in our minds.
I was presented the 2008 Illinois Veterans Braintrust Award. It was a small ceremony held in Illinois Secretary of State, Jesse White's Chicago office, my boss, added a special texture to the event, because he is the only statewide elected official that is a veteran. The award, established by General Colin Powell in 1990, pays tribute to mine efforts on behalf of WWII, Korean, Vietnam, Gulf, Iraq and Afghanistan War Veterans, their families and supporters, and for my novel "Lost Survivor". The social paradoxes encountered on the journey from man to soldier and soldier back to man. It was a honor to receive the award
It brought a flood of memories filled with faces and names of the veterans I had contact with since I returned from Vietnam. Listening to their stories of survival and what it did to them. Experiencing with them the pain of reliving the nightmares of combat. Which drove me to write "Lost Survivor" so people could understand the screams we hear in our minds.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Illinois National Guard Officer Candidate School Graduation Ceremony
A few months ago my wife and I were invited to the Illinois National Guard Officer Candidate School Dining Out Ceremony. One of the class members had seen my book, LOST SURVIVOR, and brought it to the attention of the rest of the class. They all agreed to invite me as their guest speaker. The event is very formal, I had to get a tux and my wife a couple of evening dresses (ladies always like choices), dress uniforms for the National Guard members. Generals and officers displayed gold that ran from their wrist to their neck. Medals filled their chests. We walked through a receiving line of the Candidates and their wives and then were escorted to our table. The table settings were exact with every knife, fork and napkin in perfect alignment.
I spoke about the impact of combat and how it changed your life. Shared experiences of the lingering effects it has on you for the rest of your life. I emphasized the important role training has in combat. I also talked about how diverse the military is and they would be serving with men and women that held different beliefs, looked different but wore the same uniform and would died fighting by their side.
I was impressed by these young men and women who were being trained to be leaders. Some of them had served as enlisted soldiers and served in the combat zones of Iraq. Others had never left the country and the only view they had of military service was the time spend in the Guard in Illinois. Yet, they all stood tall to endure the training to become military officers. To be leaders among men and women. I told them I would attend their Graduation Ceremony to see them receive their commission.
That day happen August 24, 2008. I attended their Graduation Commissioning Ceremony. I could see their faces bright with smiles of happiness. They had made it! They were not candidates, they were Officers. The only emotion that matched their happiness was the proud look in their families eyes as they watched them walk cross the stage and receive their diplomas. I felt proud and honored to be a small part of this very special day.
I spoke about the impact of combat and how it changed your life. Shared experiences of the lingering effects it has on you for the rest of your life. I emphasized the important role training has in combat. I also talked about how diverse the military is and they would be serving with men and women that held different beliefs, looked different but wore the same uniform and would died fighting by their side.
I was impressed by these young men and women who were being trained to be leaders. Some of them had served as enlisted soldiers and served in the combat zones of Iraq. Others had never left the country and the only view they had of military service was the time spend in the Guard in Illinois. Yet, they all stood tall to endure the training to become military officers. To be leaders among men and women. I told them I would attend their Graduation Ceremony to see them receive their commission.
That day happen August 24, 2008. I attended their Graduation Commissioning Ceremony. I could see their faces bright with smiles of happiness. They had made it! They were not candidates, they were Officers. The only emotion that matched their happiness was the proud look in their families eyes as they watched them walk cross the stage and receive their diplomas. I felt proud and honored to be a small part of this very special day.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Women Serving in Combat zones
I have had several very interesting conversations with women in the National Guard that have been deployed to Iraq. Not just once, but two or three times. They had read my book “Lost Survivor” and identified with the main character’s emotional experiences when he returned home from combat in Vietnam. The theme of the book is “what you give up to survive in combat is what you need live when you return home.” Surviving combat force you to thrown away the important things in your life. It is a well recognized fact that a man that experiences combat and has killed another human being becomes a different man. This is why men that have had to kill to survive combat have a more difficult time coming home and returning to the life they had before they left.
In my conversations with these women, all had served overseas in a combat zone and were experiencing problems returning to the life they had before they left. I understood their feelings of lost trying to fit in back home, but talking to them made me more aware of the changing nature of soldiers that serve in the military. There is a lot of talk about how technology is changing the nature of warfare. War is death and destruction to human beings no matter how it happens.
In today’s Nation Guard, women are soldiers, deployed overseas and serving in combat zones. In the Iraq war, like Vietnam, traditional front lines are virtually obliterated. Women are sent to fill lethal combat roles more routinely than in any conflict in U.S. history, the nation may be just beginning to see and feel the effects of such service.
Unlike previous conflicts, where women rarely were pulling the triggers or running the weaponry that left enemies dead on the battlefield, they routinely are doing so in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Thousands of women, like the male veterans of so many wars before, are returning home emotionally damaged by what they have seen and done. These female troops appear more prone to post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, than their male counterparts. They, like their male counterparts, are being constantly mortared and ambushed by a guerrilla insurgency. They are watching fellow troops go home grievously wounded or dead in numbers not seen since the war in Vietnam. Women have been shown to be at higher risk than men of developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after traumatic events. It has been stated that 8 percent to 10 percent of active-duty and retired military women suffer from PTSD. Yet the women who most need counseling to help them deal with what they witnessed in Iraq and Afghanistan--like their male counterparts--are the most unlikely to seek it.
There is greater understand of the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and what is needed to treat it. Yet, a Defense Department study of combat troops returning from Iraq found that soldiers and Marines deeply suffering from PTSD and readjustment problems were not likely to seek help because of the stigma such an act might carry. In the study, 1 in 6 veterans acknowledged symptoms of severe depression and PTSD, but 6 in 10 of the same veterans feared their commanders and fellow troops would treat them differently and lose confidence in them if they sought treatment for their problems.
I have noticed during book signing for “Lost Survivor” more women buying the book than men. They are trying to understand what happen to their love ones that changed them so much from who they were before they left home. Men who return from combat do not talk to the women in their lives. Now think about a woman return from combat, who can she talk to? Not the women or men in her life unless they have had common experiences as she. Most people around her don’t. Who does she reach out to? Men who return from combat will tell their wives they are going out to have a drink with the boys and it is accepted as normal. A woman who has served with men in a combat zone will prefer to have a drink with them, many times, than the girls. However, her husband may find it difficult to understand her saying she wants to go out for a drink with the boys.
And then there are expected roles of women, especially if they have kids, no matter where they have been or done. They are expected to come back home and resume being the wife or mother that never left.
In my conversations with these women, all had served overseas in a combat zone and were experiencing problems returning to the life they had before they left. I understood their feelings of lost trying to fit in back home, but talking to them made me more aware of the changing nature of soldiers that serve in the military. There is a lot of talk about how technology is changing the nature of warfare. War is death and destruction to human beings no matter how it happens.
In today’s Nation Guard, women are soldiers, deployed overseas and serving in combat zones. In the Iraq war, like Vietnam, traditional front lines are virtually obliterated. Women are sent to fill lethal combat roles more routinely than in any conflict in U.S. history, the nation may be just beginning to see and feel the effects of such service.
Unlike previous conflicts, where women rarely were pulling the triggers or running the weaponry that left enemies dead on the battlefield, they routinely are doing so in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Thousands of women, like the male veterans of so many wars before, are returning home emotionally damaged by what they have seen and done. These female troops appear more prone to post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, than their male counterparts. They, like their male counterparts, are being constantly mortared and ambushed by a guerrilla insurgency. They are watching fellow troops go home grievously wounded or dead in numbers not seen since the war in Vietnam. Women have been shown to be at higher risk than men of developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after traumatic events. It has been stated that 8 percent to 10 percent of active-duty and retired military women suffer from PTSD. Yet the women who most need counseling to help them deal with what they witnessed in Iraq and Afghanistan--like their male counterparts--are the most unlikely to seek it.
There is greater understand of the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and what is needed to treat it. Yet, a Defense Department study of combat troops returning from Iraq found that soldiers and Marines deeply suffering from PTSD and readjustment problems were not likely to seek help because of the stigma such an act might carry. In the study, 1 in 6 veterans acknowledged symptoms of severe depression and PTSD, but 6 in 10 of the same veterans feared their commanders and fellow troops would treat them differently and lose confidence in them if they sought treatment for their problems.
I have noticed during book signing for “Lost Survivor” more women buying the book than men. They are trying to understand what happen to their love ones that changed them so much from who they were before they left home. Men who return from combat do not talk to the women in their lives. Now think about a woman return from combat, who can she talk to? Not the women or men in her life unless they have had common experiences as she. Most people around her don’t. Who does she reach out to? Men who return from combat will tell their wives they are going out to have a drink with the boys and it is accepted as normal. A woman who has served with men in a combat zone will prefer to have a drink with them, many times, than the girls. However, her husband may find it difficult to understand her saying she wants to go out for a drink with the boys.
And then there are expected roles of women, especially if they have kids, no matter where they have been or done. They are expected to come back home and resume being the wife or mother that never left.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Illinois Vietnam Veterans Memorial Twentieth Anniversary (May 2, 3,4, 2008)
In recognition of the enormous debt all Americans owes to former Prisoners Of War who gave up their freedom in the service of their country during the Vietnam War, the Illinois Vietnam Veteran Vigil Committee honored 24 Ex-POW's that served over 100years of imprisonment from around the country. The weekend event was kicked off Friday with an honors dinner.
Jerry Lambert, a Vietnam Veteran, who is the News Anchor on Springfield’s local ABC television station, was the guest speaker. His emotional speech about what Vietnam Veterans faced returning home and the trials that POWs had to endure brought forth feelings from many of us that translated his words into a shared experience. He received a standing ovation.
I was honored as Master of Ceremonies for the dinner and to introduce some great people that care about and honor veterans like Jim Mathes, Chairman of the Vigil Committee, whose idea it was to honor the POWs. JP Brown III, National Commander of AMVETS and other members of the Illinois AMVETS organization. Gary Sigler, a Former POW who coordinated getting the POWs here and putting on the dinner introduced Ted Gostas a Former POW and famed artist that shared poems and prints of his famous paintings. During the weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with the POWs, hear some of their stories of survival, and share emotional moments of remembrances. It reminded me of one of the greatest fear I had in Vietnam, being captured and taken prisoner. In my recon team we had a whispered agreement not let the enemy capture us alive. None of us believed we would survive to be taken to North Vietnam.
The thought of going to sleep every night for years knowing you will wake to torture and pain in the morning seemed to me worst than death. Yet, here I was in a room full of men that survived that ordeal. Men who were humble and took nothing for granted. What strength it took to survive the constant fear, the physical and mental torture, the loneliness and doubt. How do you keep yourself intact being an enemy prisoner in the middle of enemy lands? Only when you are faced with the reality of it do you discover how to survive it.
When I got home after spending the weekend with them my neighbor asked me how did the events go? I told him that there was nothing I could see in my life to whine about after spending time with the Ex-POW’s.
Jerry Lambert, a Vietnam Veteran, who is the News Anchor on Springfield’s local ABC television station, was the guest speaker. His emotional speech about what Vietnam Veterans faced returning home and the trials that POWs had to endure brought forth feelings from many of us that translated his words into a shared experience. He received a standing ovation.
I was honored as Master of Ceremonies for the dinner and to introduce some great people that care about and honor veterans like Jim Mathes, Chairman of the Vigil Committee, whose idea it was to honor the POWs. JP Brown III, National Commander of AMVETS and other members of the Illinois AMVETS organization. Gary Sigler, a Former POW who coordinated getting the POWs here and putting on the dinner introduced Ted Gostas a Former POW and famed artist that shared poems and prints of his famous paintings. During the weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with the POWs, hear some of their stories of survival, and share emotional moments of remembrances. It reminded me of one of the greatest fear I had in Vietnam, being captured and taken prisoner. In my recon team we had a whispered agreement not let the enemy capture us alive. None of us believed we would survive to be taken to North Vietnam.
The thought of going to sleep every night for years knowing you will wake to torture and pain in the morning seemed to me worst than death. Yet, here I was in a room full of men that survived that ordeal. Men who were humble and took nothing for granted. What strength it took to survive the constant fear, the physical and mental torture, the loneliness and doubt. How do you keep yourself intact being an enemy prisoner in the middle of enemy lands? Only when you are faced with the reality of it do you discover how to survive it.
When I got home after spending the weekend with them my neighbor asked me how did the events go? I told him that there was nothing I could see in my life to whine about after spending time with the Ex-POW’s.
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