New Grandson

What a great Thanksgiving. Spend the time with Mom Mack, my ex-mother-in-law, who I respect and love. She is 96 years old and to me a delight to be around. I had the chance to hold my grandson who was born in August of this year. He is a quiet baby, at least when I was around him. Sweet smile, bright eyes and a head full of hair. I figured the hair was my contribution. I loved hold his small body, feeling him breath, watching his eyes follow movement, and feeling his life in my arms. Oh, my daughter had send many, many pictures of him. We teased her, telling her that when two days go by and we don't receive a picture of him, we think something wrong with her. My first time seeing him in the flesh. Indeed, it was a time of thanks during this Thanksgiving.

I also had a chance to spend time with Preston Jackson, an old friend and great artist. His sculptures is on display around the world. His time and words infused me with renewed energy towards my own works.

2006 Illinois Authors Book Fair - Illinois State Library

What a great birthday weekend. It started Friday, November 17th my 62nd birthday. I was honored as one of Illinois' emerging writers at the Illinois Authors Book Fair at the State Library in Springfield. I had a chance to meet and talk with James B. Stewart, Pulitizer Winner and author of "Den of Thieves, Disney Wars and Heart of a Soldier" We were both born in Quincy Illinois. That evening Scott Turow spoke about his book "Ordinary Heroes" and the next day, Saturday, had a chance to talk to him.

On Saturday, I had two author signing periods, sold a few books, had interesting conversations with people, and did a hour presentation on Lost Survivor. The session received very good comments.

Later that evening I spoke at the Marine Corps Ball. The Marine Corps League two years ago changed their rules so that Hospital Corpsmen with FMF training and served with the Marines could join. I told them that when I was serving with the Marines in Vietnam they always wanted me to be with them, so I was happy to see the rule change and I would be joining the group. Even old Marines look good in their dress uniforms.

My Birthday is today

Happy Birthday to me or as I like to say Happy New Year. In my mind years do not count until you have a begin of life. Sixty-two years ago my life awareness begin in the small town of Quincy Illinois. A river town on the Mississippi river. A small beginning full of possibilities. At least when I look back now that is what I think. Possibilities for a black baby born back then was not thought of in those terms. My mother left Quincy when I was six months old, not searching for possibilities but to leave a life of a young black girl with a baby and no husband. A life of dim views filled with shame. A life she did not want her son to live. She didn't know what she would have to face leaving the small town and family she knew, but she knew what she wanted to leave.

I am a state brat. Born in Quincy Illinois, raised in Peoria, Illinois by my grandmother until I was in the sixth grade then my mother came and took me to Chicago. Growing up my life was one of newness, in many different places with different thinking people. It gave texture to my life, many different colors and a belief in possibilities. It gave my mind the openness to accept differences as a normal state of life.

So on my 62nd birthday I look back and thank my mother for her strenght to be different, to be bold, leave what she knew and venture out into the world to give her son possibilities.

Quincy and Jacksonville, Illinois

November 9, 2006 Quincy Illinois

Started the day off with an interview on WTAD radio 930 AM on the Mary Griffth's show. She was a good interviewer, had read the book twice and had some great questions. Left there and did an interview at CBS KHQA TV. Then had a book signing at American Legion Post 37. I thank Jerry Stoddard the Commander for his help in setting it up and letting the Post members know about the event. Many of the members who came to the Post that night had either seen the TV or heard the radio interview. Some of the members had brought their sons or daughters which added to the event. Carol, my wife, and I enjoyed our converstaions and interaction with the members.

November 10, 2006 Quincy Illinois

Carol and I were invited to join the Marine Corps League's 231st Birthday Celebration of the Marine Corps. It was an invitation only dinner. I was their speaker. It was a special moment for me since I served with the 3rd Marine Recon Company in Vietnam. I told them that I have always felt safe in a room of Marines. I shared my background (I was born 62 years ago at St. Mary's Hospital in Quincy), and my military service during and after Vietnam. In fact I learned that two years ago the Marine Corps league changed their rules so that Corpsman that attended FMF and served with the Marines could join the League. A special and small group I am honored to be able to join.


November 14, 2006 Jacksonville Illinois

I did a book signing and reading at the Due Gatti Cafe in Jacksonville. The Due Gatti is a friendly, neat coffee house in downtown Jacksonville. Brian and Lisa the owners did a great job of getting the work out about the event and we met some interesting people. It was sort of a Springfield artist evening. Job Conger, a talented and dedicated poet attended, David Pitchford poet and the publisher of Lost Survivor and his wife Siobhan were there. Siobhan wrote a poem after reading the book called "To Survivor in Your World" which she read. It was a very enjoyable time shared with interesting people.

November Activities

NOVEMBER BOOK SIGNINGS AND APPEARANCES


Thursday, November 9, 2006, Vietnam Veteran, Thomas R. Jones will be interviewed on WTAD Radio 930 AM on the Mary Griffith's Show in Quincy, Illinois at 9:30 a.m. CST. At 4:30 p.m. on that day he will be signing copies of his book at American Legion Post 37, 1168 Eighth Street, Quincy: Jerry Stoddard, Commander.

Friday, November 10th, Mr. Jones is invited to speak at the Marine Corp League's 231st Birthday Celebration of the Marine Corps with a dinner to be held at American Legion Post 37. (Invitation only)

Mr. Jones will also conduct a book signing and reading at Due Gatti Café, 27 South Central Park Plaza in Jacksonville, Illinois on Tuesday November 14th from 7:00 to 10 p.m.

Lost Survivor is a part of the Illinois State Library Illinois Author's Collection and Tom will speak and sign books at the Illinois Author's Book Fair November 18th at the Gwendolyn Brooks IL State Library, 2nd & Capital Streets in Springfield.

In October, Mr. Jones spoke to the Illinois Library Association's Author's Luncheon at Navy Pier and the Illinois Woman's Press Association Book Fair held at the Chicago Cultural Center. He was also recently featured on News Channel 20 ABC-WICS TV and Radio Stations WFMB AM 1450 and WMAY AM 970.

For more information or to book Thomas R. Jones for speaking engagements on Lost Survivor please call, visit our website www.lostsurvivor.com or email us at lostsurvivor@i publication. com.

Lost Survivor is published by Pitch-Black LLC, nationally distributed to major book retailers by Independent Publisher's Group of Chicago. It is available at local and national retail bookstores, www.Amazon.coni and www.barnes&noble.corn

What does America Owe People Who Fight for their Country?

That is the name of the article I wrote for the "Streetwise newspaper" in Chicago for Veterans' Day. It was from the perspective of a Vietnam veteran. Following is the article.

WHAT DOES AMERICA OWE PEOPLE WHO FIGHT FOR THEIR COUNTRY? FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A VIETNAM VETERAN

Thomas R. Jones

I am a Vietnam Veteran. I am a survivor. I made it home. Vietnam veterans’ families, their friends, and even the government that sent us to war, did not know what to do with us when we came back home. So we took our medals and our memories, and retreated into ourselves. We didn’t talk, and we didn’t join groups nor were we asked to join. We were heroes lost in our own country. Some said we were psychologically devastated, bitter, homeless, drug-addicted people. There was no public or institutional support for us. Our veterans’ benefits were dramatically less than those enjoyed by veterans in previous wars, like World War II.

Vietnam veterans suffered from a variety of psychological problems and experienced life-adjustment troubles, such as marital problems and work difficulties. Their depression, anxiety, alcohol and violence contributed to these difficulties. Any one of these problems would overwhelm a person, but Vietnam veterans tended to have multiple problems simultaneously which produced posttraumatic stress disorder.

In previous wars combat veterans had shell shock or suffered from combat fatigue. For the Vietnam combat veteran it was more than just the combat, it was what happened after they came home. It took me a long time to be able to walk down the street at home and not search building roofs for snipers that could take a shot at me.

I served as Assistant Director of the Illinois Department of Veterans’ Affair from 1980 to 1987 and I know that during that time only a small number of Vietnam veterans actually sought treatment from mental health providers. I counseled many combat veterans. They talked to me because I had been in combat, I was a Corpsman (“Doc” to them), and had a Purple Heart for wounds I received in battle. In my book, “Lost Survivor”, I write about surviving the brutal and violent Vietnam War. Then realizing what you gave up to survive, you needed to live when you come home.


Now America is in another war. Many feel there are similarities to the Vietnam War. As in the jungles of Vietnam there are no front lines in the cities of Iraq and Afghanistan. It is difficult to know who the enemy is until after they attack. Women and children are used as weapons of war. The war is unpopular with a majority of Americans. And we are not sure what winning the war means.

Today we understand the soldiers are serving our country. They are not the target of people’s strong negative feelings about the war. I think there are several reasons. The Iraq war is being fought by a large number of National Guard units. Many young men and women are from the same community, attended the same high schools, played on sport teams together, went to the same churches, and participated with each other in community and social affairs. Their families know each other. Family and friends hold fundraisers to help their kids get body armor and helmets. Parades are held to welcome them home and community-wide funerals are held for those who made the ultimate sacrifice. The young men and women joining the military to defend this country are the children and grandchildren of Vietnam veterans who know the effects of war.

What does America owe people who fight for their country? All levels of government, federal, state, and local, should make sure veterans receive the maximum benefits promised. All veterans, their spouses and children (dependents) are owed the benefits of any and all services needed to assist them to regain the life they lost due to the veterans’ service to the country. Government should not disgrace them by instituting bureaucratic barriers that make it harder for them to receive their benefits. In spite of government’s watered down response to its veterans, amazingly, it has been reported that 91% of combat veterans would serve again, if called upon.

Everyone should realize that veterans have been fighting wars in countries whose cultures are very different than ours. They had to survive terrible, brutal, and violent events. To survive the pressure of “adapt or die,” change was forced on them.

War veterans need help to come home. Understand that there are reasons that cause them to be changed which many veterans may not be able to talk about. It takes time and patience. After experiencing combat violence, family, old and new friends, co-workers, strangers, business, medical providers, and especially our government, all play critical roles in reducing posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms.

October Media Activities

October has been filled with swirls of activities.

Friday the 6th I was an invited guest to the American Library Association Author's Luncheon at their annual conference at Navy Pier in Chicago.

Monday the 9th, the local tv station (Channel 20) in Springfield, Illinois did a special segment on "Lost Survivor". During the show I learned that one of the local anchors, Jerry Lambert had served in Vietnam.

Tuesday the 10th, I was a guest on the Sam Madiona-Radio Talk Show. A woman called in who had bought the book at the local Barnes and Noble book store. She raved about the book, talked about how it helped her understand what her love one had went through and recommended that everyone buy the book. It was great. I wanted her name to take her on tour.

Wednesday the 11th I was a guest on the Pam Furr radio talk show in Springfield. We were in the radio's downtown studio on 5th street. It is in a room with a large window facing the street. People would pass, wave, make faces and give thumbs up. Very interactive.

Saturday the 21st I was one of the 30 accomplished Illinois Authors at the Illinois Woman's Press Association Book Fair at the Chicago Cultural Center.

The smells of war

Smells evoke memories out of the mind, bring forth visions and sounds of times past. Makes us smile, laugh, or cry as the memories raise from their deep hiding places within us. The smell of war never leaves your nose or your mind. It is not just the lingering smell of gunpowder or explosions. More than the stomach turning residue of spilled body fluids mixed with blood after a firefight. For Vietnam veterans something as simple as cooking rice can bring fear. The smell of decay or burning shit can cause your body to break out in an instant sweat. The smell of fear is the the most difficult, yours and other men around you, to forget. The memory covers your body like wet tissue flooding every cell of your body. Twisting your stomach into knots as you relive the reason for the fear.

Lost years

I was talking to a Vietnam veteran about what he felt he had lost serving in Vietnam. Ten years. That one year he felt took ten years out of his life. That was how long he took to catch up to where his life was before he left home. Instead of his children going to school, he felt he should be seeing his grandchildren gong to school. It was more than the lost of the man, it was the lost of future possibilities. Ten years out of a life narrows the number of choices. Those years can not be replaced, they are lost forever. The other sad fact, he felt that very little in those ten years had meaning that last beyond them. He felt he was living in a fog during those times, swirling events pulling and pushing memories in and out of his head. That was the effect of surviving combat, defining who you were in your mind for years afterwards. Filling you with lingering doubts of what was real. Retaining the memories of what you had to endure to survive, delaying what you were living for.

"Lost Survivor" National Release September 2006

31 days. The month of August. September national release of "Lost Survivor". You will be able to order book at any book store and most on-line book web sites. The excitement is building. It has been a long time coming. Started after I returned from Vietnam. the desire to share the true experience of surival in a combat zone. About what you have to give up to survive is what you need to live back home. The scar tissue never completely covers the wounds in your soul and it doesn't seem to heal. You carry the pain deep inside until it becomes one with you. The book is pubished. For some it has become a journey of healing, for others the ripping off of scar tissue laying open their wounds.

Old Veterans/Young Soldiers

This past weekend I went to a pig roast at a friend's house. He is a Vietnam veteran with Purple Heart and Silver Star. I consider him a brother. There was great food and lots of drinks. But what make it special was the mixture of old vetnam veterans and young National Guard soldiers. We old guys shared the experiences of survival with laughed and drinks. Rememberances of days past when we were young and crazy. Events only shared with someone who has been through it. Has walked the walk. The young men and women in the National Guard listen, mostly quietly, with a question here and there. A few didn't see how we (the old guys) lived through our war experiences, the constant killing, the constant dying, the unknown, the always present stress of survival. In many cases we didn't know how we did. The only thing for sure we knew was that some how we did.

Watching the young folks energy playing games, laughing at their own silliness gave a glow to my heart. reenforced the appreication of survivial, and like our parents realization its our kids who go to war.

Father's Day 2006

Father's day 2006, I'm up at 6 am as I am everyday. Coffee, looking outside my kitchen window at the birds begin their day. It rained yesterday, the gound is soft under the trees and robins peck at it looking for breakfast. It's a quiet time. I think about being a father and what that means to me, to my two daughters, and two sons. Life passed on from my father which I gave to them. Which they have passed on to my six grandkids. A good life? Sometimes. Most of the time struggle, hopes and prayers. A real life that gives cause to get up in the morning, have a day and look for tomorrows.

Cussing is an adjustment being home

I have had Vietnam veterans call me and share their experiences similar to some of the events in the book. A common event, which they would be laughing about, how they came home and would slip into Nam talk. It usually happens like this. You are back home and your family puts on a big dinner for you. Your mother, father, sister, brother and most of the time elderly family members and church folks like your minister are sitting around the table. Everyone is happy you're home. The food is good and plentiful. The conversation is mostly about you when you were younger and how good you were as a kid. You feel good. You ask someone to past the fucking butter. Conversation stops. The room get quiet. You look around and everyone is staring at you. It takes a few moments before you realize why. In Nam cussing was part of your normal conversation, but at home you didn't cuss, especially during dinner with guests.

The first editor I worked with on the "Lost Survivor" manuscript told me there was too much cussing in it. I laughed and asked her what words would she use when being shot at. She didn't have an answer.

When bullets fly over and around your head everyone cusses no matter how mannerable your speech when you were at home. The more times it happens, the more cuss words you use. When it is a daily event cussing becomes a normal expression of your everyday speech. In Nam you don't notice it since everyone around you is cussing. It is another adjustment coming home.

Sharing the fear

I spoke to an American Legion post meeting last week about my book "Lost Survivor" and my experiences that the book was based on. Writing a book that people will read by themselves is one thing, sharing the experiences, emotions and thoughts with a group is another thing. Standing in front of people opening your soul is truly being naked in a crowd. Showing your blemishs, your weaknesses, sharing your fears and admiting your flaws. In some ways it is frightening putting yourself back into the frame of mind that you had to have to survive. When the insanity of war was accepted as a normal day. Yet, looking back to those days and being able to share the fear helps me appreciate the difference of my life today. It helped heal some of the wounds that were cut into my soul.

Forever pain

I have had quite a few people ask me how much of the book "Lost Survivor" reflect my personal experiences. I have directly or indirectly experienced the activities in the book. The patrols are based on my experiences in Vietnam and the emotions and thoughts when I returned home. In fact, every time I have a conversation with a veteran or a family member of a veteran about their experiences during the Vietnam war, it forces me to feel the terror and fear again. It also helps my internal healing process remove the brutal and violent actions I did to survive from the darkness of my soul. Like all survivors of war, I did what I had to do to survive and come home.

Readers and non-readers

There are so many types of writing. Writing a novel is long distance writing, writing to blog is short quick steps. I have been writing to blog like a short story which is shorter than novel writing but much more than needed for blog writing. So, with the new year I will be working on writing to blog.

Novel writers love readers. With the "Lost Survivor" book I have had some interesting interaction with non-readers. People who say they don't read books. During one of my book signing a couple came from a town twenty miles away. They were old friends. He told me he didn't read books, just newspapers, but because his wife want the book he would try to read it. He called the next day after he had been up all night reading the book. Another couple bought the book at a book signing, he was not a book reader, she sent my wife an email that she was reading the book and making comments out loud. Her husband took the book and disappeared into the bathroom for most of the day. I guess it shows that writers can love non-readers that read their book.